Yes, it’s that time of the year when the most insipid inquiry that floats around the social circuit becomes, “So, what’s your New Year Resolution?” Then once you take the trouble to spell some of them out, the obvious joke becomes, “But New Year Resolutions are meant to be broken, no?”
If that were the case, this joke being the obvious intent to end the meaningless banter, you realize how redundant, the conversation was, in the very first place.
So, before someone pulls that New Year nonsense on me, I’ve decided to be ready with my own witty retort - an online list, in which I will attempt to pen my top 10 resolutions for 2010.
1. Watch my Wallet
It amazes my CA how one person can spend so much money on restaurants. The other night, I instinctively called out to a server at Indigo by his first name, the other day I pulled my own chair at Delitalia and on yet another occasion, one that took the cake, ordered specials on the phone whilst in transit to Rice Boat. (Yeah, I’ve memorized the specials by day-week and month). The familiarity with menus, waiters and ilk, like you may have guessed is marginally bizarre if not creepy. Plus, its really really really HARD on my poor wallet.
PS: My wife and my Mom are BOTH excellent cooks
2. Curb Afternoon Feasts
That’s right. Food is my Achilles heel. While most people bring dabbas and stuff to an office, I find living from meal-to-meal the highlight of my day. And to give me company and feed my dark passenger are some of the most hardcore foodies. On an average, a meal in my office consists of 3 starters, 2 main courses, rice, Imported lemon coke and at least 2 varieties of sinful dessert.
PS: It’s all absolutely 100% non-vegetarian.
3. Control Impulses
Earlier this year, when I was at the peak of being broke and jobless, I walked past a Bose store with a friend. To cut a long story short, the Mastercard card isn’t really priceless. It comes with a hidden annual fee and a 10% late payment fee. Sure, I salivate silly every time the bass clocks my heartbeat but sadly, I bartered a medi-claim policy in lieu of incredible mid tones. NOT COOL!
PS: The Bose was just “one” in a long list of impulses
As of this positing I possess neither. After putting the pro in procrastinate, I ordered fried chicken, went back to sleep and donated to a non-tax-deductable organization – The Local Gym. This year, I promise at least a few good games of tennis, some rugged rounds of squash, firmer calves and one more pack to the paunch.
PS: I will NOT frequent the snack counter at the Club immediately after
5. The Celluloid Dream
I’ve been struggling to write a film for so long, I actually came up with a non-fiction format called ‘Strugglers’ which might ironically see the light of the day before my films hit the silver screen. So I’ve come up with a math. I’m going to write 100 screenplays before I die. Of which, 2 will get made. 1 will be a super hit. Sounds reasonable, right? Or am I being an Idiot?
PS: On the bright side, my TV career is doing all right. SWELL!
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